Nobody’s ever seen anything like this, folks.

Nobody.

No president, no leader—nobody’s had to deal with what I’ve dealt with.

But look at what’s coming, folks.

It’s worse than ever.

It’s going to be bad—really bad.

You know who’s going to be in charge?

Kamala.

And I’ll tell you right now—when she’s president, the White House will smell like:

Curry.

Yes, curry, folks.

Can you believe it?

The White House, smelling like a restaurant.

We had greatness, but soon?

It’ll be gone.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

And your kids?

Oh, they’re coming home with surgeries, folks.

Transgenders everywhere.

They’ll come home—your own kids, and they’ll have had operations ,and you won’t even know.

You’ll say, “What happened?”

And they’ll say:

“Surprise!”

It’s happening, folks. It’s coming.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

And the teachers?

Armed with guns.

Mowing down AR-15s.

Yes, mowing them down, folks.

Teachers, shooting guns.

They’ll be teaching math one minute, shooting guns the next.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

And what about the military?

Oh, let me tell you what’s next.

Electrified sharks.

Yes, sharks—electrified!

They’re going to be our defense, folks!

Can you believe it?

They’re spending billions on this stuff.

Battery-powered electricity sharks!

What happened to real defense?

To real power?

It’s all going to hell.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

And crime?

Forget about it.

It’s out of control.

You know who’s going to be out there, roaming the streets?

Hannibal Lecters.

Yes, they’ll let them all out.

Can you believe it?

Criminals will be running wild—eating people.

You think Haitians eating cats is bad?

And who are they going to blame?

Me.

It’s always me.

They twist everything.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

So here’s what’s coming, folks:

The White House is going to smell like curry, your kids are going to come home with surgeries, teachers are going to be shooting guns, sharks are going to be electrified, and Hannibal Lecters will be back on the streets.

This is what we’re looking at.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

The country’s going to fall apart.

And don’t forget the election—they stole it.

We all know they stole it.

Pence could’ve stopped it.

He should’ve stopped it, but he didn’t.

He failed us.

And now?

This is what we’re getting.

The White House will smell like curry, and your kids will come home with God knows what.

It’s going to be terrible.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

E. Jean Carroll—liar.

Stormy Daniels—liar.

Epstein?

I barely knew him.

But they’ll keep coming after me.

They always do.

It’s all fake.

A hoax.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

And the Proud Boys?

Good people.

They stood back, they stood by, but the media, they twist everything.

Charlottesville?

Very fine people—on both sides.

But they twist my words, turn me into the bad guy.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

And Pelosi’s husband?

The hammer?

Terrible. Really terrible.

But guess what?

They’ll blame me for that, too.

It’s always me.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

It’s a joke, folks.

A total joke.

Obamacare?

A disaster.

Windmills?

They’re killing birds, causing cancer.

They call me crazy.

But I know what’s coming.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

They don’t listen.

They never do.

And Ohio?

Soon, it’ll be overrun.

Migrants everywhere, eating dogs, eating cats.

It’s going to be bad.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

And what will they do?

Nothing.

They’ll let it happen.

They’ll let the country burn.

I’m the only one who could save it.

But they won’t let me.

Remember when I threw those paper towels?

Perfect shot.

Great shot.

Puerto Rico loved it.

But they twisted that too.

Ungrateful.

I’m the one who helped.

I’m always the one who helps.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

Suckers and losers, folks.

They’re everywhere.

What are the soldiers even fighting for anymore?

Suckers.

Losers.

I said it,

and I meant it.

Nobody says it like I do.

And I’m right.

Untouchable.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

They stole the election.

They lied about the virus.

They lied about everything.

I told them the cure,

but they laughed at me.

Bleach, dewormer—it works.

But they laughed.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

Incompetence everywhere.

It’s unbelievable.

Kim and Putin?

They respect me.

They know real power.

Generals here?

Weak. So weak.

I fired them.

Nobody fires like I do.

Nobody’s ever seen anything like it.

And Project 2025?

Oh, you’re going to love it.

Big plans, folks. Big.

I’ll fix it all.

The deep state? Gone.

Electrified sharks? Gone.

Hannibal Lecter? Gone.

America will be mine again.

Like nobody’s ever seen before.

They’ll never know what hit them.

It’s coming.

It’s quiet now,

but it’s coming.

And Melania? Ivanka?

They’ll leave me.

They’re going to leave me.

Can you believe it?

After everything I’ve done.

Where’s the love?

Where’s the loyalty?

I gave them everything.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

It’s tough, folks.

It’s really tough.

That’s going to be the most incompetence anyone’s ever seen—COVID, fake news, windmills, migrants eating pets, electrified sharks,

Pelosi’s hammer, and Kamala’s curry in the White House.

It’s coming, folks.

It’s all going to fall apart.

Like nobody’s ever seen.

And January 6—Pence failed us.

Failed me.

And they’ll still say,

“Very fine people, on both sides.”

They twist everything.

Nobody gets it.

E. Jean, Stormy, Epstein—it’s all fake.

Fake news.

But Project 2025?

They’ll never know what hit them.

Like nobody’s ever seen.