The Ghost of Ronald Reagan Has Filled the President’s Pants …

I woke up this morning to this headline: President Trump has terminated all trade negotiations with Canada, citing a video ad paid for by Ontario that featured former President Ronald Reagan speaking out against tariffs.

The ad — a clip from a 1987 speech — was apparently enough to unravel talks on steel, auto parts, and other critical exports, injecting fresh uncertainty into America’s already fragile relationship with its second-largest trading partner.

So here’s an ode to the odiferous shuffler afraid of Ronald Reagan’s shadow:

Listen:

Trumple-Thin-Skin

Saw the ad during the seventh inning
Reagan’s voice cut through the static
“Tariffs kill jobs” — he leaned in
Took it as threat, not fact
Called it fake, called it war
Then slammed the border like a cellar door

Paper-thin skin, fists in his coat
One line on TV, and the markets choked
One man’s grudge shuts a thousand stores
While kids count coins on grocery floors
He saw a ghost in a Cold War frame
And lit the fuse in someone else’s name
Paper-thin skin, no give, no trust
He breaks what won’t adjust

Blue Jays on mute, paychecks late
Still no hours — just lines at the gate
“Essential,” he said — then cut the shift
Now they bag up cans while the yachts drift past
Posted at night, said the dollar would fall
It tanked overnight — he said nothing at all

Paper-thin skin, temper runs hot
Signs with spite, then claims he forgot
One man’s mood shakes a million hands
While mothers cry with empty cans
He played a clip like a sacred text
Then burned the bridge he hadn’t fixed
Paper-thin skin, no line, no role
He wrecks what he can’t control

Can’t take a jab, throws wild swings
Wraps himself in old campaign things
Heard a line from a dusty reel
Now we choke on what’s too real

Paper-thin skin, nerves gone sharp
Whole towns wait for the next false start
One man’s fear shuts every door
Hope runs dry on the corner floor
He saw a ghost in a Reagan clip
And turned it into a power trip
Paper-thin skin, no heart, no grace
He breaks whatever’s in his place

He saw an ad. Thought it was a threat.